Jaeli and my adventure started out today with leaving the house about an hour later than we wanted to, but 'Pea' comes first, right? She needed to eat and take her bottle. Then we set off to visit some of my favorite people where I used to work. Here is Jaeli finding ANYTHING on the classroom floor of course to stick in her mouth. (By the way, the MYSTERY poster behind her is part of the Genres of books. I laughed when I saw it behind 'Pea' because Jaeli is ANYTHING BUT Mysterious!)
NOW TO MY COMPLAINT..............................(Maybe not QUITE a complaint today, but something I was sad about.)Ever feel like you don't belong? That sense of awkwardness, that empty feeling, the churning stomach and overwhelming shyness? That was my day. There are places you may go, used to work or used to belong to that maybe you decide to visit. You get excited to see old friends and to catch up. THEN, it hits...................yes IT........and IT hit hard today. "Natalie, you don't belong here anymore. A lot of good friends are here, true enough, but you, yourself don't belong anymore."
I will always have the memories, and THEY are what I prefer to remember. The great memories and the magnificent friends. I love you all. I.JUST.DON'T.BELONG.
6 comments:
I TOTALLY know and understand that feeling. I have felt it many times in my life. But it brings me comfort to think of the positive memories of when I DID belong, and to know that I may not belong there now, but I belong somewhere new...hopefully! Sure love you and I REALLY want to see you soon!!!
My complaint for today is why won't my brother listen to me? I know the perfect girl for him. Actually there are a couple I know would be good for him. Instead of listening to me he dates these stupid girls with baggage that he has already tried to date and it ended with him having a major anxiety attack and basically going into shock. Our little brother had to go give him a blessing and now he is dating the same girl again. She is just going to break his heart AGAIN and we will have to help him pick up the pieces AGAIN. Why won't he listen to me. I know what is good for him!
I feel sad about the way you how the day turned out for you. I know it was SO important for Mr. A and I to turn around in the parking lot and come back in the building to find you. He was so excited to know you were here and it was fun to see how comfortable he was with you. Kids never forget their favorite teachers. And I loved loved loved holding your cute daughter....she is adorable and so worth staying home for. Memories are always good to have and I am sure you will cherish those forever. Stay in touch!!! I would love to tend your baby if you and your husband need to come and eat out at the Maddox one night.
Love, Carol
darling blog Natalie! Of Course I know you, I think we named my kid after you! hehe, thank you for your sweet comment on my blog, NOW I can follow your blog!!
I've felt the same way visiting old jobs...except I'm always grateful I don't belong! Don't worry Nat, you'll teach again I'm sure! :)
I felt the same way when I went to visit the school I taught at after TJ was born....so sad. It was all different. The same but different, and I definitely did not belong. So sad, but we move on and find things and places where we do belong! =)
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